"Social anxiety disorder, also called as social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others."
My experience of having social anxiety started when i was in junior highschool. I didn't have a lot of friend because guys come from way different places and different hood, that confuse me a lot (hard to adapt). But i tried to keep my good attitude anyway.
I often lose a friend, and the reason is because im a lazy person in class, muted, and always coming late to class like almost everyday (glad i didn't get dropout from school). I never do tasks or homework (because i dont know how) . I got bad grades. Seriously i don't even remember why i was like that. Even some dude call me "mr.limp".
The second grade at junior highschool is the worst i ever had. I got only 2 freak friends i talked with in class. And day by day it gets worse. Guys starting to bully me, mocking me, spreading rumours about me, and even bugging me. They annoy me because i was into emo, bad grades, muted, and skinny. I swear i was clueless about what happened. I don't know why people hates me a lot(?) I didn't do anything bad to them. Seriously why society is so awful. It always get hard each day to go to school. I always afraid to school. Sometimes i skipping school to internet cafe, or just slow my bike so I'll be late to class and the school (punished) would send me back home. I didn't come to school a lot. My mom's know that. And she's cooperative to me but i guess she didnt have idea what's wrong with her son. She send a letter to school that I'm sick, like a lot of letters. She has been called to school counselor a lot of time because of my low grades and absences.
Glad i can pass it along to senior highschool. First grade at senior was okay. But it happens again.
In second grade of my highschool dudes got sick of me. They might be jealous. I got bullied again but this time is a lot more than jr.school. I got bullied from the same grade, and senior grade. Everything fucked up. This time shit got intensely rude! My bike got scratched up, they mock me a lot. I feel anxiety and it gets worst each day. Some dude hide my helmets at a tree trunk, trash my bike, throw me rocks. I'm afraid to go to school. I feel everything become pointless. This is the end. There's nothing good if i keep coming to school. I can't do this anymore. I got no friend. I have to stop this. I quit.
Sometimes i got a feeling that I'm afraid of meeting new person. I'm more selective. My circle is small. But i did overcome my fears in the end. Sometimes I'm really jealous of you guys who's having graduation celebrate with your lovely friends. It's something i would never had in my entire life.
For most people who went to highschool it's the best time of their life. Not so quiet for me. I graduate by homeschooling. So no celebration for me. I'm not so proud anyway. My days always flats. But not anymore when this comes..
